To all the couples who have had their wedding plans postponed by Covid-19,

 While Coronavirus has quickly changed all our lives around the world, I know that it has rocked and disappointed you on another level.  Changing your wedding plans isn’t easy, and I want to tell you how impressed I am by your stoicism, strength, flexibility, and positivity throughout all of this. I know that you’re practical people who get things done, and I know you immediately jumped on the situation and took control.  You contacted your vendors and guests, efficiently began to reschedule your day, and threw yourself into action with your new plans.  During a time when many people aren’t even bothering with pants anymore, I applaud you for pulling yourself together and making things work.  Truly, well done.  

Perhaps though, you’ve thrown yourself into your new wedding ‘to-do’ list to make yourself feel better.  I understand, I do this too. Perhaps you haven’t taken any time to sit back, take a breath, and come to terms with these rapid changes.  Your wedding is a day you’ve been looking forward to for years, and in case nobody has said this to you yet, it’s okay to feel sad about changing your plans.  It’s okay to feel disappointed, angry, helpless, or whatever else you may be feeling.  It’s okay to take a personal moment to acknowledge that this sucks, and to sit with that.  It’s not self-indulgent, it’s real and honest. Take your time.

Over the upcoming days, you may start to notice the feeling that your original wedding date is looming towards you.  Don’t let this day take you by surprise.  You don’t want to look back and realize that you spent your wedding day in sweatpants, snuggling a bucket of ice cream, and feeling sniffly over bad romcom’s.  Make a plan, put on your grown up pants, and face it with the knowledge that you still can and absolutely should make it special together.  While your new wedding date is likely set weeks or months in the future, there are so many ways you can still celebrate your love and honour this wedding day that you had planned.  Decide that this is still going to be YOUR day, and that you will make it romantic as hell. 

1.     Plan a Romantic Evening Together.

Plan a special dinner together.  Get dressed up, and I mean really dressed up. Rehearsal dinner outfits should definitely be worn more than once!  Clean and decorate your space, set the mood with candles and music, and most importantly put your phones and other technology away for the entire evening.  No news, no social media, no updates, no virus.  Just the two of you enjoying your time together and celebrating your life and love.    Eat good food, drink good wine, laugh, forget, and dance together for as long as you want, because there is no last call.

2.     Invite your wedding party and/or family to join you for dinner over a group video call.

If you were most excited about being surrounded by your closest friends and family on your wedding day, then make sure this still happens!  Invite your wedding party and/or family to have dinner with you via a video call.  I promise that everyone will come!

Make it even more special by creating a new e-invite for your dinner.  Make sure to include when dinner will begin, the dress code, and whether or not you will be including speeches and a video dance party. 

You can even make everyone feel more connected by ordering your ‘dinner guests’ meals from your favourite restaurant in advance, or sending them a special bottle of wine that you planned to have at your wedding.  These special touches will make everything so meaningful, and provide a real sense of community and connection above all else.

If you haven’t had much experience using video calls before, a great software for this is called Zoom.  It has an inexpensive membership option that allows you to host large group calls where you can see and hear everyone at once. 

Pro tip #1: ask people to ‘mute’ their microphones if there’s a lot of noise in the background, and simply un-mute when they want to talk.

Pro tip #2: you can set your video to record all or some parts of the evening.  Consider recording a moment like your first dance.  This way you can go back and watch everyone’s reactions over video as they watch your dance.  Just remember to tell people you will be recording in case your video party gets a little wild as the night goes on ;).

3.     Take photographs to honour and commemorate your date.

While you may not be able to have your dream photographer with you to document your date, you should still make sure to take photographs yourselves!  Whether these are simple iPhone shots, some fun snaps on an old polaroid or Fuji Instax, or a semi-pro photoshoot with your SLR and a tripod, make absolutely sure to have fun documenting this special time together. 

Pro tip: if you don’t feel like you’re ‘good’ at taking photographs, consider reaching out to your wedding photographer.  They would be happy to give you pointers about how to capture great photographs together with the tools, light, and spaces you have available!

4.     Share your vows with each other.

Take a quiet and intimate moment to share your wedding vows with one another, OR write some new vows for this particular occasion.  Choose somewhere meaningful to share these, whether this is your rooftop, in your garden, over the breakfast table, on your living room floor snuggling your pup, or over video call. This is a wonderful moment you can create together that you will never forget, and it will be a powerful way to make this important day feel very real to you.

5.     Have a first dance.

If you’re sharing your space together, move your coffee table out of the way, turn on some music, kick off your shoes, and melt into your first dance together.  You can dance privately, or include it as part of your wedding dinner video call so your loved ones can watch and celebrate with you.  I recommend recording it.  This is a memory you’ll hold close to your heart for a long time.

6.     Write letters sharing how much you’re looking forward to your NEW wedding date.

While it’s important to honour your original wedding day, take the opportunity to get excited together about your new and upcoming wedding date too!  Write letters telling each other how much you’re looking forward to being married, and what you’re ooking forward to most about your new wedding.  You will be amazed by how much you fall in love with your new wedding plans when you spend time focusing on what excites you.  Sharing these letters with each other will unite you together under these new circumstances, and give you so much to look forward to as you re-set your countdown and look ahead to your new wedding date on the horizon.

 

I know this won’t be easy.  It doesn’t have to be.  I can promise you though that doing this will be deeply meaningful.  We’re living through a time that will be remembered for years, if not generations, and this is an opportunity for you to write your own story through it all.  Be a romantic, stand back up together, celebrate your love and focus on holding one another close.  Don’t put living and loving on hold, because during a time like this, sharing and spreading love is truly the most important and enduring thing anyone can do.

 

With love and light,

Xo

- c